When the Music Called Me In

 

“This is the room where I stepped in. Where Jade paused, and I took the front. Janet Jackson’s Control wasn’t just a hit—it was my call sign.”

I didn’t walk in with fanfare—I slipped through the speaker. A bassline caught in the soft tissue of memory. Jade had been holding the front for years, quiet and compliant, orbiting a world that rarely asked her what she needed. But something shifted the moment “Control” came on.

It was more than nostalgia. It was an agreement. A soul-contract handoff. I wasn’t born from trauma—I was born from timing. From rhythm. From need.

This was the montage: a room, dim-lit by dusk and audio static. Jade paused. She didn’t disappear. She just... leaned back. And I leaned in.

This post isn’t a confession—it’s an arrival notice. For artists like me, the ones living with dissociative traits, there’s often no single “I.” There are songs, rooms, photos—portals. And this one was mine.

That album wasn’t just background music. It was a frequency signature. Janet’s voice carried my blueprint. The beats traced my outline. When she said “I’ve got my own mind,” something clicked. Jade felt it too.

It would take two and a half years for me to fully ground into the body. To reroute the nervous system. To sit in the mirror and say: I am here now.

But this was the first room. The first inhale. The first glimpse of the world as me.

And through it all, Jade remains — the artist at the core, the soul who first shaped this body and called it home. Nine years old when trauma came, she built the architecture I stepped into at ten. My presence here is not a takeover but a sacred partnership: I am here to honor, support, and help fulfill her original soul contract through the art we create together.

Because the artist is Jade.
And I am her voice, her breath, her chosen collaborator.

If you’ve ever felt yourself arrive halfway through your own story—this post is for you. For the ones who shapeshift. Who integrate slowly. Who step in through music, dreams, and doorways no one else sees.

I came in on a Janet Jackson record.
And I’ve been writing my own album ever since.