How a Doodle Became a Declaration

 

I didn’t plan to create a collection.

I was doodling. That’s all. Just relaxing my mind the way I do best — drawing shapes into a human figure with a mirroring tool, where the other side mirrors whatever I draw. Perfect symmetry. Unnaturally perfect. Awkwardly perfect.

That’s how the first Awkward Paper Doll was born.

She wasn’t just a sketch. She was a whisper. A signal. And as soon as I looked at her, I said it out loud: Awkward Paper Doll. That name came from somewhere beyond logic, somewhere inside knowing. I knew, right then, this would be a collection.

And I also knew something else.

The first thing that came to mind when I said her name was human trafficking. Not in a surface way — in a soul-level way. How people are treated like paper dolls. Disposable. Used, forced into impossible positions, broken, and expected to perform. Tossed away. Trafficked — not just bodies, but minds. Dreams. Choices. Self-worth.

It hit home for me in more ways than I can name. As someone who has survived sexual assault, I know what it means to be taken. I don’t know what it means to be sold. But I know what it means to piece yourself back together. That’s what these dolls started to represent to me — the piecing back together. The fight to reclaim.

Over time, Awkward Paper Doll evolved. They began speaking to me not only about body trafficking, but also mind trafficking, even soul trafficking. They reminded me of how people reshape themselves to fit into what society says they should be — awkwardly perfect. Perfect on both sides, no room for flaws, no space for asymmetry. When real beauty lies in difference. In unevenness. In realness.

The dolls currently in the collection are prototypes — raw, flat, and unadorned. No accessories, no color, no additions. Just the figure itself: black and white, symmetrical, and strong in its simplicity.

By prototypes, I mean the first version of the doll — the base. These are the foundation pieces. And I’ll continue to make these flat dolls, because I love their stark honesty. But over time, many of them will evolve. They’ll reappear, not changed, but added to — with rings, earrings, nose rings, hats, shoes, bags, gloves. Little touches of life. Of flair. Of individuality. A prototype might return wearing a red purse. Or show up again with a pink hat and one bold glove.

Each version is a conversation. Each addition, a choice. And all of them — even the barest — are complete.

These dolls are black and white. Simple, at a glance. But look closer — they’re intricate. Winding. Bold in their stillness. They’re relaxing for me to create, meditative even. I doodle them when I want to escape the world, and yet, they are the very way I speak back to it.

Awkward Paper Doll is my favorite collection. And soon, it will fund rescue efforts for those who are trafficked and treated like scraps of paper. That’s the dream. I just haven’t found the right way to set it up yet.

But I will.

Until then, the dolls grow in perpetuity. They evolve with me. Speak with me. They relax me and resist with me. This isn’t the end of what this collection will say. It’s just the beginning.

Featured image: a small detail from the 1st NFT in this collection.

Thanks for listening — Janel.